Sometimes you have to suffer in life, not because you were bad, but because you didn’t realize where (and when) to stop being good

Many times we wonder why some good people go through difficult phases in life.  We casually blame God or past karmas for this.  It has been about 4 years since I had conducted the session for Sandhya (name changed) and received the title message.  This morning, I received the message again over whatsapp from my friend Prakash who shares well meaning quotes every morning and remembered the session with Sandhya which I had posted on https://forum.amarantos.org/ with the same title.  I am sharing the article now here.  Many of us will be able to relate to the title and I hope you gain something from here.

One afternoon, I received a call from Sandhya (name changed).  She requested for an urgent session as she was having severe migraines and back pain. She said she was taking pain killer injections to overcome the pain. She had visited many doctors and done multiple scans/ tests with the doctors not able to identify the reason for her pain.  She arrived at around 11 am as scheduled on a Sunday. Sandhya, a lady in her 40s, was married and stayed in the same building with her in-laws, but on a separate floor with her husband and child.  Her mother-in-law has an iron grip on the matters in her house and did not give her husband and her the freedom they deserved.

Sandhya had multiple issues, the prominent ones being (put in her own words),

1. Migraine on the right side, it hurts the neck and eyes too. Triggered by irritation, sudden fear – fear that I will hit something or fear of my daughter being snatched away from me, I also get it when I am unable to fulfil my daughter’s wish, when I don’t feel like living. Migraine has reduced now after having started the meditation. Frequency now is one in 3 to 4 months, but is very severe. MRI scans show everything is normal.
2. Suffer from severe back pain. It is sharp shooting pain near the hip region and the pain also spreads through the right leg. It feels as if someone has hit me. The triggers are when I have feeling of hatred or anger. The frequency of this pain is once every 3 to 4 days.
3. I also have the fear of someone following me. I am scared by things coming up suddenly.
4. Fear of my daughter being separated from me due to my death.
5. Feeling of throat choking while speaking to people
6. Had met with an accident in early 20s, and head was hurt. There is swelling of that area at times. My academic performance went down after that. I have fear of vehicles and don’t want to learn to drive. I don’t complete my educational courses, I go blank in exams. Health is usually impacted during the exams.

We started the session around 12.40 pm. I used progressive relaxation to guide her into trance.

Me: Go to a happy childhood memory

Sandhya: Lot of people speaking and moving around. I am sitting on stair, playing. I am circling………7 to 8 years old. I am on the terrace.

Me: Go back to time when you were an infant.

Sandhya: I am in the cradle. Mother is cooking. Small girl is moving around ……. That is my elder sister. I am just moving in the cradle.

Me: Go to the life from where the migraine headache comes

Sandhya: I am going…. Happily walking. Am 14 years.

Me: Go back to the previous day ... dinner time.

Sandhya: Big table is there. I am sitting. There is bowl of rice. Mom is sitting. Can’t recognize her from this life.

Me: What is your name?

Sandhya: Don’t know.

Me: Go to the significant event from where your headache is triggered

Sandhya: Some people are shouting at me.

Me: What are they shouting for?

Sandhya: I am not proper. Head is not working.

Me: How old are you?

Sandhya: 25 years

Me: What is happening?

Sandhya: My head is aching.

Me: What is making them shout at you?

Sandhya: They don’t want me to stay there.

Me: Where is this place?

Sandhya: Not my dad’s place.

Me: Are you married?

Sandhya: Yes.

Me: Do you have children?

Sandhya: No. I see open space.

Me: Is your husband there?

Sandhya: He is not there. They are speaking loudly. My ears are paining…right ear is paining. They are screaming. They are dragging me to a hill.

Me: Who is dragging you?

Sandhya: One lady and a person.

Me: Look into the lady’s eyes. Do you recognize her?

Sandhya: She is my current life’s mother in law. She is holding me tightly.

Me: Do you recognize the other person.

Sandhya: No. They are pushing me from top of the hill.

Me: Which place is it? Which year is it?

Sandhya: Don’t know.

Me: What is happening now?

Sandhya: They have pushed me. I have fallen on a rock. The fall was very deep. I have hit the stone. Head first – right side and then the left. Hurt near the neck. The back is also hurt. (After coming out of trance, she mentioned the back had broken). Body is not moving. I am floating.

Me: Did you suffer for long after the fall before your death?

Sandhya: Little time. Floating now. It is becoming dark.

Me: What are your thoughts at the time of death?

Sandhya: Happy to have died. I did not want to live.

Me: What makes you happy to die?

Sandhya: There are no good people. The lady - thin and skinny lady. I don’t want to stay with her. She will kill me. Let she be happy now.

Me: What are your feelings towards her?

Sandhya: No feelings. I have forgiven her.

Me: When have you forgiven her - was it at the time of your death then or now?

There was silence…

Me: What are your lessons from that life?

Sandhya: Why am I alone? We cannot change people, they will remain same. She did not like me. I was not her choice.

Me: What choice?

Sandhya: I am seeing the light.

Me: Ask the light for help. Ask what you need to do to get rid of your headache, back pain and leg pain

Sandhya: Calm down.

Me: Do you want to carry forward the pain?

Sandhya: No

Me: Ok. Pray to the light to burn the pain. There is no need for you to carry it forward.

After sometime,

Sandhya: My head feels heavy now. Want to come back.

It was 1.50 pm. We took a break for lunch.

After lunch, we took a break and then started the next session at 3.45pm to explore more details from that life. Elman’s relaxation technique was applied followed by progressive relaxation.

Me: Go back to the lifetime from where the migraine comes.

She was breathing heavily.

Sandhya: I see myself moving very fast. I see water and greenery. Blank.

Me: Go back to the time when you were being dragged to be pushed down the hill. What do you see?

Sandhya: I am telling them, please don’t push me.

Me: Go back 10 years and see what people call you.

Sandhya: See a lady.

Me: Ask her you name

Sandhya: She is not saying anything.

Sandhya: I am falling. They are dragging. (She was still at the site where she was pushed)

Me: Go back and see yourself in the childhood

Sandhya: I see a pretty girl and see other structures.

Me: What is she doing?

Sandhya: Just smiling.

Me: Is that you?

Sandhya: Don’t know.

Me: Go back to the hill. Do you recognise the other person who pushed you?

Sandhya: No.

Realizing that she is able to go back in time, I decided to explore the other concern she had – the fear of separation from her daughter.

Me: Go to the time and space from where your fear of separation from your daughter arises

Sandhya: A small pond. It vanished. It is blank. Can’t see anything.

She did not progress and we decided to end the session.

After coming out of trance, we had a brief chat about what she felt. She said that during trance, she had felt as if she was actually falling and when her head had hit the rock, her hands went up holding her head. She felt her neck and spine break, and the shooting pain she experienced during trance going down her head, her neck, spine and legs, is the one she experiences at 2 to 3 times a week in this life. As she was not able to identify the name, place and time, we could not conclude if the events from this life and earlier life were getting mixed up or it was a pattern that was repeating. In this life, she was married at the age of 25. Her mother in law was not happy as Sandhya was not her choice for daughter in law. Some of the family members from in-laws family, tried to say Sandhya was mad, so that they could separate the Sandhya from her husband. Most of the harassment of Sandhya in this life happened when her husband is not around. Her migraines had started after she had got married. The patterns were repeating. We had to wait for another session to get the answers.

After lunch, Sandhya was anxious about picking up her daughter from school. She wanted the session to be completed soon. Due to this sense of urgency in the second session, she was not able to experience or visualize the key events properly. Her mind being pre-occupied with the thought of her daughter, could be the reason for her not being successful in exploring the past life after lunch. Sometimes, nothing much comes out in the first session, and more sessions are required. Venu, my PLRT teacher, refers to these sessions as peeling the onion – you go layer by layer. It is also said that at times, one is not able to remember their past life or everything from their past life, until they are ready to digest the information. The soul remembers, but the brain is new. The soul would pass on the message when the brain is ready. Maybe, Sandhya needed more time to be ready to know more or probably it is not needed for her to move forward in her evolution journey. We ended the session for the day and Sandhya left for home.

After, Sandhya left, I wondered the reason for her to carry the pain. My limited understanding is that people carry the pains and aches till the time they learn their lessons. The lessons can be around anything. In this case, Sandhya did not have any grudge or vengeance against the lady she had pushed her down the cliff, she had already forgiven her. Even in this life, Sandhya had mentioned that whenever her mother-in-law screams or ill treats her, she forgives her and moves on. I kept wondering about the lesson the pain wanted to teach Sandhya, and went to bed that night hoping that the next session should give us some answers.

The next morning I received a message from Sandhya - “Slept nicely. For a long time. Nice peaceful sleep.” We later spoke over phone and she said that she was feeling very peaceful within and had slept deep and for a very long time. She mentioned that she had not slept like that for a long time. She liked the peaceful feeling she was experiencing. I was happy to know that the session was making her feel better. I slept that night with this question as to what was the lesson for her. I said a silent prayer, asking the masters to help me with some insight.

The following morning, as I checked the morning messages, one of them caught my attention – “Sometimes you have to suffer in life, not because you were bad, but because you didn’t realize where (and when) to stop being good.” I felt this was the message for Sandhya’s session. 

Is this not the same message the Bhagwad Geetha gives? In the field of Kurukshetra, one of Arjuna’s contention for not fighting the war was that there would be no difference between him and the Kauravas, if he ends up killing them for kingdom, wealth and prosperity. This is something that reflected in the discussion with Sandhya, where she said that in death she felt at least now the people who had killed her would be happy. 

Is Sandhya doing the right thing by just forgiving the mother in law every time and is it time for Sandhya to stand up against it. Does she also have responsibility to help her mother-in-law learn her lessons? Is it her fault that she does not know when to stop taking the abuse. I immediately shared the message with her and she called back to say she feels the message is meant for her. Whatever, Sandhya will do, she needs to “Stay calm”, as she had been told by the divine light during the session. They say, “Karma is the ultimate guru.” It spares no one and all of us will learn our lessons and there is no restriction of time and space.  She said she would visit me for another session as there were still unanswered questions.  She is yet to find time and mind space for this.

* forum.amarantos.org is a site where the therapists from Amarantos share their PLRT cases and also discuss PLRT.  You can find many interesting cases documented here.

Please feel free to post your comments and questions, and I will try my best to answer them, with my limited knowledge.  Your comments motivate and encourage me to share more experiences with you.  The comments you post would appear after a day or two, as I have set up a spam check.  Thank you.