Every female should be strong and educated, shouldn’t depend on anybody and should stand for herself
Women play an important role in all our lives - as mother, teacher, sister, wife, daughter, friend, colleague etc. I am sharing the notes from my sessions with Reshma (name changed), to high-light the importance of girls being provided with good education and values, and also ensuring we bring them up strong to face and overcome the challenges the world would throw at them. At the same time, it is also important to bring up the sons with good value system so that they give the respect women in their lives deserve.
Reshma, a home maker and lady in her late 30s, lives with husband, two kids and in-laws. Daughter is about 12 years and son about 8 years old. She is happy with her married life. Financially, the family is well off. For six months she has developed a unique health issue and has been visiting gynecologists and dermatologists from reputed hospitals with no proper resolution to the issue. She develops cuts in the genital area and boils with pus on her thighs. The doctors have been giving her creams, powders, pain killers and anti-biotics, which give her temporary relief, and then it comes back with vengeance. The pain is so severe that she feels like cutting her genitals. She heard about PLRT from a friend (who had undergone a session before) and decided to try this as a last resort. The key point which came out during the history taking is the stress in the relationship with her daughter. Though both of them love each other there are times when she feels her daughter does not respond to the love and affection showered by Reshma.
After relaxing
Reshma, I asked her to reach out to the root from which this pain
originates. Below are the details of the
session. The therapist part of the
conversation is mentioned against ‘T’ and the client's response is given against
‘C’. The details below can be
disturbing, readers discretion is advised.
T: What is
coming to your awareness?
C: I am
seeing my feet with mehendi which dancers wear…paarani
(We googled
later for the meaning of the term ‘Parani’ – it is a Telugu word for Turmeric
mixed with limestone ‘chunam’ smeared by women on their feet at a wedding)
T: Look at
yourself. What are you male / female?
C: Female
T: How old
are you?
C: In
twenties.
T: What is
happening?
C: Sitting
at home…
T: How is
your home?
C: Big…just
taking out water from the well…well is in the center of the house.
T: Who else
is there in the house?
C: My
husband.
T: Do you recognize
him in the present life?
C: No,
don’t recognize him.
T: What is
your name?
C: I am
hearing something like Tarangi. (Tarangini is the name in Telugu which means –
woman who is like a wave)
T: Which
country is this?
Silence.
T: What are
you wearing?
C: Some
kind of saree…South India.
T: Anything
significant happening there?
C: I have
two kids…both of same age.
T: Boys or
girls?
C:
Boys…twins.
T: How old
are they?
C: 8 years.
T: What
else is happening?
C: I have one
more kid…daughter.
T: How old?
C: 10-11
years.
T: Look
into the eyes of the children. Do you
recognize them in this life?
C: One…son
is my niece; daughter is my daughter in this life…don’t know the other one.
T: Go
forward to significant event in that lifetime.
C: My
husband…is scolding me
T: What
for?
C: Because
I gave birth to a female child…
T: Look at
your husband…do you recognize him?
C: No.
T: Go
forward to the event.
C: Most of
the time slaps me…beats me near cheeks / ears…very hard…he forces himself on
me…even when I say ‘no’… (long pause)
T: What is happening?
C: (Looking
very much in pain) He is closing my mouth…he is having…something in his hand
and touching the genital parts and giving some kind of pain…he is
pricking…cutting with something sharp like…I think it is iron kind of thing
which we use for loosening mud for plants…I cannot see properly, but it is very
hard.
C: I say
‘no’, he says…he will insert inside and just punishes me…he gives small cuts on
my thighs for his fun…with hands he scratches hard on the thighs…whenever he
feels he wants, he should have…so he feels a lady is just to sleep with the
male person…that is why he does not like me or my daughter…
T: What are
you feeling?
C: I feel I
should have been very strong to fight with him or die.
T: Go
forward and see what happens.
C: Every
time after the…he just kicks with his legs my genital area…and he laughs loudly
and enjoys my pain just kicking…he will be doing this for long time and my
genital area is in lot of pain…it is in very bad condition…I feel to cut off
and throw away my genitals…everyday work should be done…when he comes home…I
should serve him…give respect…everything I should do…whenever he feels…he does
not see the place…he forces himself on me…if I say no again…the same thing
starts…in bed room…kitchen…everywhere…kids are not there…both sons go to learn Vedas…daughter learns classical dance…I am also a classical dancer (there is a
smile on her face).
‘I feel to
cut off and throw away my genitals’, this was the same sentence Reshma had used
during the history taking to describe her level of pain.
T: Which
place is this?
C:
Very…kings were there at that time…place…who rule…
T: What
dress does your husband wear?
C: Kind of
silky clothes with dhoti…sons having small tail behind their heads…husband is
not having.
T: Do you
recognize your husband?
C: No.
T: Go
forward to significant event.
C: My
husband also always scolds my daughter…but one son is always supportive.
T: Which
son?
C: The one
who is my niece in this life…he and my daughter are very close…my husband
always uses bad words and ill-treats my daughter…my son supports her after my
husband goes out…in front of him, son is scared.
T: What
else is happening?
C: He
forces himself on my backside…every time this happens blood will keep flowing…I
can’t sit…I can’t sleep…
T: Go
forward to significant event in that lifetime.
C: My
daughter dies.
T: What
happened to her?
C: She fell
in the well and died.
T: Does she
slip or…?
C: She
herself fell in the well.
T: What
made her do it?
C: Because
my husband always hates her…he will be scolding her…ill-treating her…and he
says, only males can be…I mean…he is kind of person full of male ego…old
mentality.
T: How old
is your daughter when she dies?
C: 14-15
T: What
happens after this? How are you feeling?
C: I feel
when…I just cried a lot and lot…I just love my daughter a lot…but because of my
husband, I just lost her…I used to have great bonding, my kids and me…we had
great bonding.
T: What
happens after this?
C: I told
my sons to take care…be strong…I left home.
T: Where
did you go?
C: Near a
river…just died…
T: How did
you die?
C: Fell
into the river. I wanted to get rid of
this life…
T: What are
the emotions as you die?
C: Don’t
want to be female who suffers all the time…husband is not good…lost my
daughter…I was unable to bear the pain…I don’t know…I just felt…I left
everything and went.
T: How did
you die?
C: I just
went inside the river…walked inside.
T: Did you
know to swim?
C: No.
T: See what
happens to you.
C: I flowed
with the river to other places…I don’t know where I went.
T: What
happens to your sons?
C: One son
(niece in this life) grew up, started teaching, helping other kids with
learning…other son used to do something like taking care of grains, delivery,
storage…from farmers to king’s treasury.
T: Are both
doing well?
C: Yes.
T: What are
the emotions that you carry forward from that life?
C:
Sometimes I feel being a male birth is the best birth…because they don’t have
any questions to answer, nobody questions them…everything whatever they do will
be the right thing…they are the head of family…the kind of pampering and love
what female needs they should give…they might be earning or doing something…if
the female goes to earn they feel why should they…when I hear or see something kind
of holding or ill-treating female by others, I feel very uncomfortable…what
kind of life will be there for them…I feel every female should be strong,
should be educated, shouldn’t depend on anybody and should stand for
themselves. This happens when they are
able to earn something or support themselves. In the olden days ladies were not
the ones to go and work…they used to see the home needs, farming, but earning
was by males, they used to travel, because it was like that…don’t know what to
say…whenever I see my daughter shouting at me (in this life), I feel very bad
then…I used to support her a lot at that time (that life), even now I am giving
her support and love, I used to care, now she does like this to me. I just want everybody to give love and
affection, take care of her…. Sometimes,
I get very scared whenever something goes wrong, I feel very scared at this age
when she gets emotional, don’t want anything to go wrong. I don’t know I also committed something (suicide)
with this mindset.
T: Go
forward and see if you had any other life with your daughter.
C: Yes. She is my daughter again.
T: What is
her name?
C: Sita.
T: How was
your relationship with her in that life?
C: I had
beautiful relationship with her in that life.
Everything is great in that life, beautiful kids, husband, in-laws. (She
looked happy and at peace as she said this)
T: Do you
recognize your husband?
C: He is my
husband in this life too. (looked very excited)
T: Did he
take good care of you and your daughter in that life?
C: Yes.
Everybody was happy.
T: You have
a good husband in this life too, are you willing to let go of the emotions and
pain from that life?
C: Yes.
T: Float
above and let go…what are you seeing.
C: Stars.
T: Who are
these stars?
C: They are
all beautiful souls with energy.
T: Are
these the same stars that you see from earth?
C: No…these
are golden. We see silver from
earth…they are other souls.
T: What do
you want to do?
C: Seeing
light.
T: Heal
yourself there.
The session
was quite intense for both of us. She
said, she experienced the same pain during the session which she experiences
today. She mentioned that her daughter
in this life argues a lot, and this is disturbing her. She is worried for her and wants her to have
a good life. She said it would take some
time for her to digest what she had experienced, and we decided to connect back
for another session as there were lot of questions still pending. The key one – was her daughter so weak that
just because her father scolded her, she killed herself or was there something
more to it. Would this session be good
enough to heal Reshma or would she need another one.
Few months
later. Reshma mentioned that the pain went off for few days after the session
but is back again and said she feels that there is something more she needs to
let go off. Four months later we had the
fourth session.
T: Go to
the root cause due to which you have pains near the genital area.
C: Nothing.
I did not
get any response with this question after multiple attempts and decided to go
back to that life where Reshma had killed herself by falling into the river.
T: Go to
the life where your present-day daughter was also your daughter in earlier
life.
C: I am
there.
T: What is
happening? Who is there?
C: Sita.
She had
gone back to the happy lifetime. I
again re-directed her to the painful life.
T: Go back
to another life, where she had killed herself.
Are you there?
C: Yes.
T: What is
the reason she killed herself?
C:
Discrimination between girls and boys.
T: Is there
any other reason? Is someone
ill-treating her?
Silence.
T: See real
issue, become aware of it…3…2…1
Silence.
T: Does someone
do something to her?
C: No.
T: Go back
few days to see if anything is happening with her.
C: What I
felt is, one day some rich man comes home…I was not aware at that time, but now
I am seeing it…he gave lot of money to my husband…and he told to give my
daughter to him…and take her away to some other place…
T: For
marriage?
C: I think
for marriage only…my husband was happy seeing that money, everything…
T: What
about your daughter?
C: One day
he tells that…even she didn’t tell me anything…but he is telling her that he
doesn’t like her so he wanted to get rid of her…so at least this is the better
chance, so you can give a good life to your brothers, mother, everybody, so you
get married to him…and she was thinking the same thing and did not discuss
anything with me…otherwise, I would have really helped her…don’t know why she
took that decision…
T: Is there
any other reason?
C: No.
T: Now you
know the real reason…you now have her back as your daughter with a good
husband…do you still need to carry this emotion and pain?
C: No.
T: What do
you need to let go of the emotion…where are you?
C: I see
light. I want to be here.
T: Allow
yourself to heal and let go of the emotion.
Let me know when you are ready to be back.
T: Go back
to the time she was your daughter as Sita and see if there is anything that
you carry with regard to the pain you are experiencing.
C:
Married…she got married.
T: Is she
happy?
C: She is
happy, she started Vedic school…
T: Are you
happy?
C: Yes.
T: Are you
and your husband happy?
C: Yes.
T: Is there
anything from that life which is causing your pain?
C: No.
After she
spent some time healing herself in the bright white light and forgiving self, the husband and daughter. She sat down to
discuss this. There was a sense of
completion to the first session. She no
longer felt guilty for her daughter’s suicide and having seen another good life
with her, she felt a sense of relief.
Reshma
called few weeks later to confirm that the pain is gone, and the pus-filled
boils have also stopped. I pray that this
relief for her is for good. It is now in
her hand on how to handle these emotions the next time she has disagreements
with her daughter. These two sessions
also were an eye opener for me, as I too have a 13-year-old daughter and end up
with angry outburst at times. It also
highlighted the importance for the girls to be well educated, so that they can stand
up for themselves in the future when the need arises.
Please feel free to post your comments and questions, and I will try my best to answer them, with my limited knowledge. Your comments motivate and encourage me to share more experiences with you. The comments you post would appear after a day or two, as I have set up a spam check. Thank you.
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